illusions of life

I was rushing to work. I was already late and alas going to be more late. I should have realized that its the month of december and not any more summer. I had to clean up the snow from yesterday. My car is all covered with mother nature's creativity. It is freezing cold, my fingers started to loose that engaging power. I realized I cant bear this anymore and suddenly jumped into the car. The drive was very scary with snows and icy roads. I was trying to be cozy inside my car with my heat and music on. Trying to judge on maintaining my speed so I dont drift too much. I am a neat and descent driver to be honest. Just 10 minutes away from my work I witnessed something unusual. A girl in her twenties trying to get some help from the cold. I stopped by her and asked she needed help. She all of a sudden jumped inside the car. The poor girl was shivering and her hands were pale from the cold. I felt bad and decided to get her a coffee. I drove to a tim hortans, got her breakfast. She ...

I admit the way my life is, the way my life takes me.  The glimpses of my happiness are sometimes very momentary. I mostly carry a pile of sorrows and emotions.  The younger me was better. I was very innocent and cool. I had insights of future, I had bigger dreams. My dream to become successful was always thriving me. What have changed. Does your age influence you a lot. Now I am 30 and I have a bunch of dreams that never came true. I realize I have failed in executing or reshaping my happiness. The reality is you are in that shell and doesnt want to come out. I dreamed to be a doctor, but I am an engineer. I dreamed to be with family, but I am miles away from them. I dreamed to be myself, but I am no what I am.  I have my own fears. I am shy. I am inferior. But thats me. My society makes me feel uncomfortable on being myself. I wear a mask now, acting a drama. Why are people so bothered on me being myself.  Tomorrow is for sure not any change from today. The mo...