The dreams that never came true

I admit the way my life is, the way my life takes me.  The glimpses of my happiness are sometimes very momentary. I mostly carry a pile of sorrows and emotions. 

The younger me was better. I was very innocent and cool. I had insights of future, I had bigger dreams. My dream to become successful was always thriving me.

What have changed. Does your age influence you a lot. Now I am 30 and I have a bunch of dreams that never came true. I realize I have failed in executing or reshaping my happiness.

The reality is you are in that shell and doesnt want to come out. I dreamed to be a doctor, but I am an engineer. I dreamed to be with family, but I am miles away from them. I dreamed to be myself, but I am no what I am. 

I have my own fears. I am shy. I am inferior. But thats me. My society makes me feel uncomfortable on being myself. I wear a mask now, acting a drama. Why are people so bothered on me being myself. 

Tomorrow is for sure not any change from today. The monotonous routines are killing me. The days are same for me. More or less it is work and weekends.

The money that I get from my work is just money.  If am broke, how can I be happy? Money determines happiness. This hot topic will have a lot of debates. But am I really right. My life was to make someone happy. 

Every time I am paid my salary, someone is getting happy. The bills that i pay, the groceries that i buy and longer lists.

I am 30 and I assume I live a 30 more years. I am bored, seriously bored. How can people pretend to be happy. There are things I should learn to finish the race. 

I dont want to dream so much more . That is because I dont wanna get disappointed on my whole life of the dreams that bever came true. 

I am starting to act. May be thats wrong. I am starting to act better would make sense.

Smiles:)